Sex Krazy or Serial Killer? November 9, 2002
Dear Dr. Max,
I have just seen your website and was relieved to read about the woman whose sex drive is far greater (abnormally high) than her partner's. Sounds similar, but the reverse situation.
Having had sexual intercourse with my partner, he very shortly after the event has another erection and wants sex again. Sex seems to be on his mind constantly and life revolves around the next boink. One day we had sex 7 times. On average, he wants sex 3 times a day. I know this isn't normal because I've had many successful relationships in the past and there's never been a problem with me in this department, but I'm finding this is becoming a bind as it's too demanding. I feel once a day is sufficient and if I'm tired then a hug is fine.
He wants to marry me and has proposed twice. My concern is that if I have children, I'll be tired and not be able to accommodate his needs. He's divorced and has 4 children from his first marriage and had many affairs.
Can you advise me because I'm wondering whether there's anything he can do to calm himself down. I feel a couple of times a day is far too much and would be very interested to hear what therapies/pills you could advise.
I really look forward to hearing back from you.
Regards, Gal Needs a Rest
Voice of Homer Simpson: Mmmm. Sex three times a day.
Your partner reminds me of Gary Ridgway, the Green River Killer - the most prolific serial killer in U.S. history. He killed at least 49 women, mostly prostitutes, leaving their bodies along the Green River. His ex-wife complained that he demanded sex several times a day, and that he liked to do it outside, on the banks of the Green River. He'd sometimes "come home in the middle of the night all wet, covered in dirt, with no explanation."1
Mmmm. No explanation.
Does your situation bear an uncomfortable resemblance to hers? Has your boyfriend become suspiciously interested in sharpshooting or taken on a devoted teenage sidekick? If so, call the authorities ASAP. And please, no breakup sex - GO NOW!!
If you're still here, I take that to mean you're fairly certain he is not a serial killer. That's a good first step. Let's see what we have so far.
- 3 kids from previous marriage
- Abnormal sex drive
- Prone to infidelity
Gee, this is going to take some work. Are you willing to put in a lot of time and effort? Do you not have any better options (somebody else)? If you do, then GO NOW!!!
Oy, you're still here.
Mmmm. No other options.
To answer your question (responsibly), there are treatments for excessive sex drive. I can't recommend any of them, but you and your partner should discuss this with your doctor.2 Cyproterone Acetate, for one, is used to treat excessive sex drive and sexual aggression in men, and hirsuitism (hairy-ness) and androgenetic alopecia (baldness) in women. It is sometimes given to sex offenders. Herbal treatments include marjoram and sandalwood. If an imbalance of the Shukra vaha srotas is depleting your partner's Ojas, you might want to pursue Ayurvedic (ancient Indian holistic healing system) treatments.
One thing to think about (assuming you two are able to get this problem licked) is what to do with all that extra time (that you currently waste just screwing around).
- Dr. Max
- Jeff Wise, "Shallow Graves," Maxim, June 2002
- If you're playing the Dr. Max drinking game, chug your drink now.
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